The decision to divorce is a difficult one for most people. Marriages that are not healthy and have little chance of improving are often toxic for all parties involved. Some couples must make a difficult decision about what is the right thing for each person involved. Parents should always try to remember that the children of these divorces will pay the price for years to come. There are many short-term and long-term effects that children of divorced parents are forced to live with once their parents are divorced.

Immediate Effects

There are certain aspects that children of divorcing parents internalize that can cause them to suffer. Children are very likely to blame themselves, even when being reassured that they are not to blame. They may also feel guilty if they try to get their parents to reconcile and they are unsuccessful. Children may feel insecure that the noncustodial parent is abandoning them. Children are often having to adjust from seeing a parent daily to only seeing them twice a month.  While they may not understand everything, they will feel the impact of the fighting that may come with a divorce and the financial troubles that may also arise.

In these cases, legal assistance can be the best way to solve these disputes. Parents should try to put the needs of their children first by providing as peaceful a divorce as possible. But in addition to making the divorce process as quick and easy as possible, you need to put extra effort into taking care of your children. Make sure that you talk to them openly so that they understand what is going on. Keep their routines as normal as you can, and make sure that you are aware of any signs of stress they are showing. If they continue to struggle, consider having them see a therapist.

Long-Term Effects

Children of divorce experience changes that often affect them and their relationships for a lifetime. Feelings of abandonment color their adult relationships and can cause trust issues with significant others. The absence of important role models during formative years can lead to insecurity in their own adult lives. Feelings of jealousy can be added to feelings of abandonment and rejection when divorced parents remarry and spend time with stepchildren.

While there isn’t a lot to do to help the fact that they are affected by your divorce, make sure you keep their home life as stable as you can. As long as your former spouse doesn’t present a danger to your children, encourage them to spend time with their other parent and to develop a good relationship. Make sure you are responsible in your romantic relationships and that you put your children first. It won’t fix all the damage, but it can help your children feel more stable.

Wrap Up

Most people can agree that divorce causes many issues for all children involved. Parents of children should consider all the effects that divorce will have on their children and try to take all possible steps to strengthen a marriage and possibly avoid divorce altogether. However, if it is impossible to avoid divorce, parents should take extra care to make sure that their children are handling the changes in a way that is healthy for them.